What is a Happy Marriage? Reasons why my ex for 7 years broke-up with me.

この記事は幸せな結婚生活とは？７年間付き合った彼女と別れた理由の英語バージョンです

I mentioned about my ex in my previous article, I had an ex-girl friend from 17-24 years old.

We started dating when we were high-school students, she worked immediately after graduation, I started studying in a tecnical school and landed to a job, resigned after  3 years and traveled around Japan by mortorbike. During those years, we still managed to stay in our relationship. 

I thought that 17 to early twenty's is the best time of a human life and we spent it together, even our parents were thinking when we would get married.  We talked about future and had a joint account.  We seldom fought, we had the same values and hobbies, we laugh at the same things.  Even if we have been together for a long time, we were still very comfortable and did not have to care too much of each other.  

We did not live together but it occured to my thoughts that if we would, there would be no problem.  

Well.....

Those were just actually in my mind.  

But knowing the fact that she could stay for 7 years with me, probably it is also safe to say that she also enjoyed my company and felt comfortable with me.

So why did she decide to break-up with me?!

At that time, I really never felt any thing related to possible break-up.  Even after telling me about her intentions of leaving me, I still could not understand why.  At that time (that Motoke) believed that "if either of us wanna break-up, our relationship will just be over soon."  Before accepting her decision, I asked her many times first but she really was already decided.  

Her reasons are...

We should experience having other partners, experience more things and visit more places apart.  And when we become thirty, and if we are still single and no relationships, we could still try again.  It might be a destiny.  

And I agreed. 

But as I write this blog, it seems like I am understanding her deeper now.  Maybe we were ok as a couple but it was actually a repetitive thing, she wanted to feel something fresh and new again.

Before meeting Bebe, I was insensitive, very rational, unexpressive, no jealousy at all.

No fighting, comfortability and respect are the enough and the best, those were the key for keeping a relationship.

NO FIGHT!

COMFORTABILITY!

RESPECT!

Seems like those are enough and good,  no problem, and most long-term relationships even for married ones, are like that.  My friends, my parents and some of Bebe's friends think that way too.  

I want to emphasize one thing!

If a relationship is truly healthy just by having those three characteristics (no fight, comfortability and respect),  I guess there is no problem with that.  Many Japanese couples including my previous relationship follow that rule,  but why do many of us fail?

Even to those who are still in a relationship, sometimes it also feels like it's already dead.

Why?!

Next time, i will share Bebe's (Christianity) and Japanese values differences.